When Your Problem Becomes Everyone Else's Part 1
The COVID-19 pandemic managed to impact everyone's lives, even if in different ways.
To say this past year has changed many people’s lives would be an understatement.
Usually when something in our life changes, it’s only ourselves and those closest to us who are impacted by the change. For instance, when my mom left our father when I was nine and she took my sister and me to live in a women’s shelter, many people offered to help us, but I don’t think most of them could truly understand how complicated our situation was.
Being quite young myself, I understood that our situation wasn’t ideal, yet it felt somewhat normal for me at the same time. After all, we had left my father before when I was six, so much of this didn’t feel unusual to me. And because we’d gotten away from someone with alcoholic and violent tendencies, it was a chance at a new beginning for us, so it didn’t feel as tragic as it should have been. Besides, when you were now living aside other children, still had cable TV, had access to one of the best libraries in the state, and even went to a day camp where they took you swimming nearly every week, how could you be unhappy for long?
However, most of the world was not impacted by the circumstances I was living under at the time. In fact, I remember going to a supervised group for kids and asking if any of them lived in a shelter, only to get total silence in response. Looking back, I can understand why they would react this way; some of them may have come from disadvantaged families, but having to live in a shelter isn’t a common experience even for those who struggle the most. Had I been this candid with other kids I knew, I think I would have gotten similar reactions.
It’s not so much that these were innocent times for everyone. This all occurred during 2004, back when our country was still involved in the Iraq War, but people were starting to discover that we probably weren’t in this war for the right reasons. 9/11 was still fresh in many people’s minds, and much of the fear and suspicion this tragic event inspired carried over into US politics in a way which wasn’t really helping us move forward as a nation.
But for many kids, myself included, the only way this impacted us was through what we saw on the evening news. Otherwise, most of our world revolved around whatever went on in our homes and schools. For some, this might mean their biggest struggle was trying to pass the latest multiplication test or having to miss a new episode of their favorite Nickelodeon show. Others probably had parents who were divorced or struggled to earn a decent wage. However, as was the situation with me, the only people who were usually impacted by these problems would be the individuals themselves and their families. Friends, teachers, and others whom they might confide in probably showed sympathy for their situations and even helped out if they could, but this person’s situation wouldn’t usually change their own lives. Chances were, they probably had problems of their own they were trying to deal with at the same time.
And then there are problems like the current COVID-19 pandemic.
In situations like this one, you could try singling out those who actually caught the virus or not, those who personally knew someone who’d gotten infected, or those who ended up losing their jobs because of the lockdowns and other restrictions that were put in place for businesses. However, every person in this country, and arguably almost everyone in the world, has in one way or another been impacted by this pandemic. In this case, your personal problems are more likely to be someone else’s. They might be struggling in different ways than you are, but the roots of these struggles still stem from the same place.
In my case, things were going quite well for me at the time the pandemic struck. I had been in my current job as an interviewer through a market research company for one year, and although I earned minimum wage, I often earned commission, which allowed me to make a little extra. I didn’t have a driver’s license, yet I could take the bus to work on my own and go other places if I was dismissed early or had extra time. My situation wasn’t ideal, yet I had gained a level of independence which I didn’t have before in my adult life, and this allowed me to be satisfied with the way things were. And to make matters even better, my family had recently scheduled a trip to Miami, which would be our first vacation together in years. Since it was the start of a new decade, I thought this was my chance to get off to a fresh start and begin living the life I’d always wanted.
As was the news of the Iraq War sixteen years before, the news of the Coronavirus pandemic in the earliest months of 2020 felt like something that while very serious, would probably not impact my personal life. I’ll admit I did have some fears about it early on, mostly on account of how bad flu outbreaks had been getting in recent years (which in retrospect may have been a forewarning of how serious the COVID pandemic would get), but they were rather small fears. I remember reading about the possibility of lockdowns and thinking it was just crazy; why would they force us to give up our daily lives and remain at home? It seemed like only those who had the resources to work from home could manage that, while I had to take the bus everyday and interact with clients face to face through the office and on the mall floors. And with all the independence I’d been gaining recently, it would be like signing away on my hard- earned freedom. I thought there was no way I could be forced to stay home all day.
But of course, reality bit back soon enough. Around early March, there was news about someone from the school district where I went to high school catching the Coronavirus after attending a sports event. This event had everyone I knew on higher alert than before, and social distancing and better sanitation habits started being enforced almost everywhere I went. I followed along with these guidelines as best as I could, hoping this would be enough to prevent more restrictive measures from being enforced. Maybe if we all did our part, the pandemic wouldn’t hit us as hard as it did in other countries like China and Italy.
I still remember the last Saturday I came to work before everything started changing for good. Although there were still people coming into the mall, it was emptier than usual. The only people we were able to assist that day were clients who came in on a regular basis, and they all seemed to show little fear over what was going on. We did what we could for them and then tried recruiting others, but with little to no success. I ended up leaving early from work, which was all the better for me because I planned to meet up with an old friend later that day.
When the two of us met up, we decided to stick around the mall because it felt more convenient. We talked a bit about what was going on in our lives, with her telling me about all she was doing to pursue a teaching degree and how her brother’s girlfriend was expecting a baby later in the spring, and me telling her about how everything was going at work. We did bring up the pandemic a couple times, including how crazy it was that people were hording certain goods as if they desperately needed them ( finding a sign outside of Bath and Body Works saying they were out of hand sanitizer but still had soap inspired quite a bit of conversation) but we didn’t dwell too much on the subject. After all, we hadn’t seen each other since the summer, so we just wanted to enjoy the time we had together.
On our way back, we stopped by at Mariano’s and I noticed for myself how items like hand sanitizer and toilet paper were almost completely gone in certain aisles. There were even signs posted around remaining items saying that people could only buy a specific number on account of how they were running low on them. This served as yet another reminder of the situation we were facing, of how things could soon be changing drastically. But as before, it didn’t bother me too much. For all I knew, people were panicking too much and reacting in unnecessary ways. If you asked someone years before what people would be buying if the world were on the brink of an apocalypse, I’m sure toilet people and hand sanitizer would not have been among people’s top answers. As I would learn throughout the year, our expectations of how people would behave during urgent situations don’t usually match up with reality.
After this unusual trip, my friend drove me home, spending most of the ride back discussing the things she was still required to do to complete her degree. Looking back, her discussions about college probably made it seem like her path in life was different from my own, but she still experienced several setbacks once the pandemic got worse. Rather than going back to Northern Illinois University, she would go back to her family home (which is only a couple blocks from where I live) and do some online coursework while also getting a new job at Walmart which she ended up not liking. The student- teaching she was expecting to do would have to wait another semester or two. It may have not been what I was experiencing, but we were both going through setbacks nonetheless.
The next day turned out being my last day of work for the next three months. I mostly remember that it was more difficult to recruit people than it had been the day before, and that certain stores were already going to be closing or changing their hours. I was scheduled to return the following Thursday, but the almost complete lack of business and recruitment opportunities that week resulted in me being permitted to go back home on that day.
It was when I got home that I got the news I had been dreading to hear: Coronavirus cases were only getting worse, and because of that, we were probably going to have to cancel our vacation to Miami.
For me, this was the breaking point. I had been looking forward to finally going on a vacation with my family. I had already gone to Florida with a college group three years before, but we were mainly there to attend a three-day conference in Orlando, so we didn’t get to do as much as I’d have liked to. On this vacation, we could have done things like go to the beach and explore much of what the city had to offer. After years of only my mom or stepdad going places on their own, all four of us would be going someplace together. It felt like a great way to start off a new decade and start what felt like a new chapter in my life.
But like everything else that year, these plans would have to be put on hold. We may have officially canceled the trip in April, but that day felt like the time I knew it most likely wouldn’t be a possibility.
For some people, constantly feeling bored was the worst thing about the lockdowns. But for me, it wasn’t the boredom, but rather my despair over the situation. Hearing so much about how terrible things were getting through social media, I took a week off from most social media during that first week without work. When our state government declared that Illinois would be on a two-week lockdown starting the following weekend, I felt like the worst thing about this was the uncertainty surrounding the future. Would the numbers of those infected go down with all these measures, or would it not make any difference? How long would I have to go on without working, and would I qualify for unemployment if I tried applying? How was my family going to manage with none of us being able to hold a job? When would I be able to get together with friends again, or go out somewhere on my own?
Luckily though, I didn’t spend my whole time on lockdown worrying about all this. I committed myself to two things that spring that helped me get through that difficult spring: exercising more regularly and devoting more time to my writing.
I heard several things about how remaining in good health helped you become less prone to catching the virus, so I did my best to remain physically active. My most preferred method of exercise was using the cycling machine we had at home. Having not learned to ride a bicycle as a kid, this was the closest I could get to this activity as an adult, and it felt great to do this, as if I was releasing all this energy that was begging to be let out. If I was just sitting around on my phone all day, I would get anxious after a while, as if I was wasting time that could be better spent doing something else. By exercising, I was doing an activity that helped both my physical and emotional well-being, which felt like a great way to pass time during a global pandemic.
Even better for me were those occasions when I could convince my sister to get out of the house and we would walk around the neighborhood for about half an hour. We didn’t always see other people around, and the park we usually walked through felt emptier than usual, but if I’m being completely honest, it wasn’t all that different from the walks we’d go on before. Going on walks isn’t most people’s first choice when it comes to a fun way to pass time, especially if they can easily drive around their cars. Would I do the same thing if I had a driver’s license? Perhaps, but if almost all the places I usually went to were closed, where would I go? By sticking to my old habit of walking around, I didn’t have to stay copped up in our condo all day, and I had yet another way to pass time and avoid that boredom and despair that threatened to ruin things for me.
As for writing, this was practically my new part time job. I had been working on a novel for over a year, but I hadn’t considered sending anything in for publication in years. Now, I would devote a lot of time to finding websites that were currently accepting work and pay close attention to their submission guidelines. About half of the websites I found had gone defunct, while others wouldn’t be accepting work until later in the year. I put those aside while taking note of those that were currently accepting new work, and I tried dedicating time to working on a short flash piece I hoped would get accepted into a sci-fi website for which I was part of a mailing list. Towards the end of April, that work was fully completed, and I submitted something for publication for the first time since I’d worked on my community college literary journal four years before.
This flash piece turned out being rejected, and although I was disappointed, I accepted this failure as just another step in the process of being a writer. At least I now knew what kind of work certain writing websites were not looking for and I could avoid sending in similar stories in the future. And besides, I was also making a lot of progress in completing that novel I wanted to finish, so at least I had another work in progress I could devote more time to.
In addition to all this, I studied German through Duolingo, read some of the books I had at home or through my phone, and assisted with chores and grocery shopping. Thanks to seeing some complaints about the misinformation regarding mask usage on social media, I told my family that we should consider wearing them in public, and we started using them weeks before Illinois started implementing mandatory masks policies in May.
I also called my closest friends as often as I could. They were all dealing with the pandemic in different ways; one of them had been my coworker and now had to stay home almost all the time, while another was still working in a grocery store and having to deal with difficult customers and tighter work conditions. And then of course, there was my friend from that final weekend of freedom, who filled me in about working at Walmart, the home reparations her family was working on, and how her brother’s girlfriend gave birth to a baby girl around May.
Things may have been different for all of us, but we were all dealing with the consequences of a global pandemic. Keeping in contact with these friends served as a reminder that I wasn’t the only one having to deal with so much uncertainty and unhappiness over how life was changing. At least this way I didn’t have to feel alone about what I was going through, and I could sit back and relax with people whom I’ve shared better moments with before.
So, this was how I dealt with the most difficult spring of most people’s lives. Yes, I am aware that others probably went through more difficult things than I did, and that some of the things I worried about missing out on may seem selfish to certain people. But this is just one example of how someone tried to deal with the difficulties millions of others were also facing. If anyone else gets the chance to share their story, I encourage them to do so. Maybe that way, we could get a better understanding of how this pandemic truly has been everyone’s problem in one way or another, and we could let go of some of that resentment many people have been gaining towards others this past year.
And of course, this was just the beginning. My next newsletter will be about how I dealt with the new normal that came along when our state’s lockdown ended that summer, and some of the challenges that came along with this.
It was very interesting reading about your experience during the beginning of the pandemic. I hope that you and your family get to go on your vacation sometime soon! I really hope that things with COVID settle down and life goes back towards normal and that everyone's safer.
I'm in rural Arkansas, and there was never a lockdown here so I never did experience that. I have worked from home and homeschooled my son for years and so between that and being so far from any big towns, it didn't change my day to day life in that way like it did for so many people. But I've watched everyone around me go through it, and I know it's been so difficult. My mom had COVID in the very beginning and thankfully she came through it okay, though she still has issues with her lungs that she has to have checked out at the doctor every six months until it clears up. The hardest part of the pandemic for me is definitely that I haven't gotten to see my mom in so long. She lives in Canada and the situation at the border is hopefully going to improve soon like they're saying it will and very much hoping to visit with her this summer, if things don't get worse.
Anyway, I look forward to future posts! :) And if you have any fanfiction or anything online, let me know. I know you mentioned it earlier. I fully admit I love fanfiction and have practically my entire life. :)